Saturday, 24 December 2011

Merry Christmas... peace on earth... goodwill to all men???

...if we are to believe all we are fed through our national media, we would find little evidence of these sentiments expressed within our daily lives.

War, famine, global collapse of all we in the western world hold dear to our hearts; our homes, financial security, free health and education, to say nothing of our benefits, employment and final salary pensions.

Add to this the issue of climate change and how we are bleeding our planet dry of her very life's blood. How she has no choice but to do what she does best - restore balance - resulting in natural disaster, freak weather and apparent destruction of large communities within the species that has perpetrated this assault.

Taking all this into account it would seem we have little cause to celebrate, no chance of peace on earth, and as to 'goodwill to all men' - surely we are far too wrapped up in our own personal survival issues to spare a little time to consider others?

Or are we? Inspite of all that is stacked up against us, there seems to be a tide of unison amongst ordinary people equal in force to that perpetuated by mother nature herself; 'enough is enough.'

The tide of mass consciousness is turning. Recognition of basic values are resurfacing, as is the importance of the family unit, our relationships and our sense of community. People are reaching out and they are beginning to act... they are finding their voice... and that One voice is being heard...

When viewed from this perspective, maybe there is cause for celebration? Maybe there already is peace on earth? And maybe the innate nature of man is to be kind to his brother?

Surely it then behoves each one of us, as indiviuals, to take responsibility for our own lives, to make a conscious CHOICE to energise peace in our own hearts and to CHOOSE to believe it exists in the heart of every human being, regardless of their actions. Is this not the true meaning of 'goodwill to ALL men'? 

On the eve of possibly the most celebrated event in the christian calendar, perhaps we should look a little deeper into the underlying spiritual significance as it pertains to each one of us, our life in the 21st century, and how we may take greater personal responsibility for the choices we make in each moment. After all it is our choices that create our lives and, as a consequence, the quality of the world as a whole?

to be continued...

Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011. All rights reserved.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

A Stranger in a Strange Land...

Aside from the image itself, inspiration for this blog came through attending Essence of Wild 'Barefoot Breathing' e-course - a course designed to awaken and engage with all that is sacred and natural within ourselves and our land.

Taking this into consideration it may seem to be a very odd picture to share on a forum dedicated to our beautiful planet earth and all its magical creatures. What can an image, clearly revealing extra-terrestrial life, possibly have to do with contemplation of our natural world?

There are no flowers, nothing even vaguely resembling a tree, no fairies and definitely no human beings.

And yet there is something. Something that leaves you in no doubt that, in spite the abundance of flying saucers and somewhat alien landscape, we are actually viewing our very own sacred planet.

The drawing was created some five or six years ago shortly after I began 'playing' with crayons. A friend suggested I  closed my eyes, used my non-dominant hand, and select the colours at random. After I'd finished I opened my eyes and continued 'doodling.' The finished 'vision' stunned me to silence. I was totally engrossed in the figure on the right who seemed to be so much a part of the earth, it was the earth - yet it also seemed to be in direct communication with all the 'alien ships.' It reminded me of E.T. (hence the title - Phone Home) and the whole scenario moved me to tears.

Now we come to its relevance to mother nature and the reasons why I am impelled to share it. At the time of its birth I was feeling particularly isolated and alone, a very familiar bed-fellow as all my life I have felt as an alien on a strange planet. The image instilled in me a sense of belonging, a knowing that all I had been searching for was, quite literally, all around me. My 'home' amongst the stars was actually, for the time being, right here on planet earth and my star family was right here beside me.

Now fast forward some five or six years to the present day. Shortly after beginning the e-course, the familiar bed-fellow climbed in beside me and once more I felt as a 'stranger in a strange land.' Even though I loved all the sharings, the stunning photography, and especially the daily 'nature love,' I nevertheless didn't feel that I belonged. This time, however, the bed-fellow felt different, it was now a treasured friend whom I welcomed with opened arms. It brought with it great gifts, igniting a way of being that, until now, has been too profound to express into words.

Nature, wildlife, animals (a lot easier to understand than human beings!) have been my succour and inspiration all my life, yet now I realise, they had also been my escape. They had been my retreat when life became too much and I just had to get away from it all. Meditation, my daily practise for well over a decade, also held its roots in the same soil. And here I was committed to a course that required a daily practise of meditating in nature! Quite a dilemma when held in the light of these revelations - and yet it wasn't, it was all quite natural and ordinary; very simple, nothing forced.

Quite spontaneously I became the figure on the right of the image, E.T., who is 'so much a part of the land, he is the land.' This I felt to the core of my being. The sun, the sky, the rivers, trees and flowers, all of these I felt - INSIDE. This understanding came alive as I watched the 'Sacred Circle' video, featuring Bear Heart. As he spoke I could feel the land, the rivers running through his veins, the sun shining through his words, and the deep respect he had for all life. And as the rivers ran through his veins, so they flowed through mine. I became the Sacred Circle of Life, all life, everywhere; as was he.

So, not a single barefoot breath have I taken, not a single commune with nature, nor have I felt the wind stir my hair or the rain caress my skin. I walk the land, as the land. Walking, breathing, smiling, celebrating and appreciating..... the wonderful sense of belonging I feel amongst this clan, this human race.

Alone he stands the star born
Isolation, loneliness companions of old
Too long has he walked these earthen pathways
Spirit ever seeking a path to return

Long ago forgotten the race of the stars
Grown over time great love for this earth
Now he remembers, he remembers his calling
Sends forth a cry to the land of his birth
Returning swift the clan from afar
Embrace their brother, igniting his Light
As wisdom of ages flows through his being
A bridge he becomes twixt earth and the stars

Earth finds knowing of star born
Stars know wisdom of earth
Path to return established
At home on this land of his birth

'Phone Home' has featured in my personal contemplations at regular intervals during the past month. The latest turn of the spiral has seen its energy transform from that of 'Aloneness' to 'Community.' This is the sense of belonging it now instills should you wish to embrace it. Life carries with it many choices, with surprises around every corner, and it is through these choices that we create our reality. In this simple drawing is the potential for two (at least) diverse realities. Do you choose isolation or do you choose community; to BELONG? Know that you may also choose both - aloneness within community is, for me, ultimate belonging. It gives birth to the authentic Self; wherever I am, whoever I am with - I BELONG.

Finally, I would like to extend my profound appreciation to Essence of Wild, along with all of the 'barefoot clan,' without whom these revelations would not have seen the light of day - THANK YOU!

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Guest Blogging on Essence of Wild

Wallington Wood
If you go down to the woods today you’ll sure have a big surprise….

little did I know the reality of this nursery rhyme would miraculously spring to life during, and following, a quite ordinary family day out.....

read more on Essence of Wild

If you have never before stumbled across Essence of Wild I would encourage you to explore a little (after reading my blog, of course!).

Professional photographer Jason Smalley and experienced, intuitive Flower Essence Practitiioner Jackie Stewart, deliver on a monthly basis a package of absolute delight to nurture your body, nourish your soul and awaken your spirit. It really is a marriage made in heaven, or should I say earth? for it is the earth that fires their souls. Their deep love, respect and passion they have for all that is sacred and true in our world, shines through every newsletter that bounces through your inbox.

For the past three weeks they have been running '100 barefoot breaths' e-course complete with confidential online forum. The professionalism, love, time and sheer abundance they have put into creating it together with the beauty of their inclusive e-books will be a source of inspiration for years to come. I cannot recommend them highly enough. Why not sign up now?

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Blank Canvas - Once More Unto the Void

Well here we are on the first day of October with not one single blog post published in over a month - September has vanished into the abyss with apparently nothing to celebrate, or even acknowledge, its existence.

Or has it? This month has born witness to the most profound awakening I have ever experienced, where creative expression must be its most natural outlet. I have a feeling the ripples from this great void will echo throughout the months ahead in many diverse and creative forms.

Yet why has nothing been forthcoming? Why have I been unable to express that which cries out to be shared?

Maybe it is because I have been 'being' rather than 'doing?' I have been so content simply 'being' that the whole of life has become an expression of creativity. There really has been no need to 'do' anything; 'life' has been enough.

So why change now? What has been the trigger leading to this spurt of creative release?

Blank Canvas
I simply drew three cards - 'Blank Canvas,' 'Jubilation' and the 'Past' sphere. These three cards enabled me to find clarity within my 'being' state, to not only understand, but to maintain this way of being throughout the ups and downs of ordinary life.

I AM the blank canvas upon which life, all life, is drawn. Every thought, sound, word, breath, action, feeling, emotion emanates from this glorious empty space - only to disappear almost as soon as it has been painted onto the fabric of existence; as if written in invisible ink.

This is the rich tapestry of life when allowed to follow its natural course. No me, no you just a blank canvas upon which you and I dance in ubiquitous harmony.

And it is so very freeing knowing I am this space. Knowing I am the pause lying between each thought, each breath and every outpouring of emotion.

'Jubiliation,' my second card, fits so perfectly. When I drop into this space, when I step aside and allow the presence of the great unknown to envelope all that I am NOT, I suddenly become a wellspring of pure joy. It bubbles silently within. An effervescent fountain filled with luminous bubbles of light that I can only describe, inadequately, as 'smiling inside.'

These two cards together with the 'Past' illustrate the wondrous simplicity that is life in the 'Eternal NOW.' For the present moment the instant it is born, ceases to exist; it is past - returned unto the void. From which it will emerge anew as another form - perhaps as a song, a thought or a feeling or even another human being.

Recogntion of this simple cycle, where nothing is born or nothing dies but is merely transformed, is to awaken inside profound joy - where life really is a tapestry written upon a fabric that is blank.

Monday, 29 August 2011

Why am I here?

In order to answer this most elusive question I feel I must perhaps, pose another - ‘Who am I?’

Surely I must first ascertain the identity of this ‘I’ before attempting to discover its reason for being here? In ancient Atlantis the inventor of writing, Thoth the Atlantean, journeyed for aeons to the depths of his being in order to solve this mystery of mysteries. Seekers, including great teachers from all religions and walks of life, throughout time, have sought answer to this most basic enquiry. 

Now I must follow in their footsteps and journey to the far reaches of my own experience. I must probe the dark corners of my mind, swim in the murky waters of my heart, face my own worst nightmares; in short I have to ‘boldly go where no man (or woman) has gone before’. 
I will not find answers in the words of others, even from the wisest of teachers. No, my only recourse is to turn within and search through the doorways of my own existence until the light of truth emerges from my innermost being to illuminate the subject of my quest.
Mystic Union
In standing alone, naked in the thrust of self enquiry, I find there is no self and as a consequence there is no other; all is within, inside me. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel pain. I don’t feel loss or separation. I am all of these things. How can I feel that which I already am? I can only feel that which I am not.

The Question

When I turn within to explore the space from which aspects of self take form, I find there is no form. There is simply vast empty space; a space that holds the entirety of my existence, all existence. It is a giant, joyful wave that carries me from one moment to the next embracing all in its path. All my wants, desires, needs, feelings, thoughts dissolve into this vast ocean of consummate perfection.

And in a moment of profound, pure awareness a question is born, a thought-form cast from within the great void upon the mirror of my mind: ‘Why am I here?’ It hangs suspended, like a water droplet, apparently frozen in time, seeking substance until time itself releases it once more unto the void. For a while it rests within the great ocean of infinite possibilities until the next wave throws it once more onto the surface of my mind, ‘Why am I here?’ Lazy tendrils of enquiry seek dark recesses in my concrete mind for an answer, even finding some resolution, but once again I let go, the droplet having no more substance is again released; all is still.    

 ...and then another thought, larger and more substantial than before, arises. It holds within it a story, a story of creation: ‘Great Spirit, whilst resting in absolute totality of being, in pure awareness, gives birth to a thought: ‘how would it be if I did not know myself?’

In that moment, with the emanation of this simple thought, the world of duality, the world as we know it, came into being’.

Now I had two thought bubbles to ponder upon. They hung together in suspended animation as if the pause button had been pressed on my mind; two tiny droplets held within an even greater bubble of awareness.

Before long I realised one held solution for the other. In unison they merged to become far more than the sum of their two parts. They were yin and yang, divine mother and divine father, enjoining in sacred union that the child of infinite understanding be born to illuminate the far reaches of my mind, and the immeasurable depths of my heart…  

An Answer
I am here to experience duality and the deeper my experience, the more I sink into this realm of separation, the closer I am to the original question posed by Great Spirit. I am in immanent proximity to that first moment of creation. Experience and question unite and consciously I participate in duality, allowing myself to sink deeper and deeper into form without becoming identified with it; a wondrous alchemical transformation takes place. In the clear light of my illuminate mind, in the immeasurable depths of my heart, I am Great Spirit experiencing duality through me. This is why I am here. It really is that simple.

Key words in living this understanding are ‘experiencing’ and ‘identification’. When I am ‘the wave’, the continuous wave of infinite possibilities, I am one with Great Spirit; each moment in my life is experiencing, there is no self and no other, no union and no separation, all is just as it is: very simple and very ordinary. However, if I identify with any of these things: myself, another, an experience, memory, need, desire, physical body, even union with Great Spirit then I am back in the world of duality. I become separate and in that moment the pain in my heart returns; isolation, loneliness, physical pain, all my wants and needs become driving forces in my life.

Sweet Surrender

There is a subtle veil which transmutes one way of being into the other: it is quite simply, awareness; pure awareness. The shift in consciousness from one way of being to another is an inner process where the fire of awareness burns through destructive forces of divisive thought.

This all-consuming fire has one or two very trusted friends; courage and surrender. Without their participation awareness may as well return to its slumbers and allow the fires of passion to rule the roost. In other words unless awareness is acted upon it serves no purpose.


As I reflect upon my life I see threads of light running through it; like tiny rivulets merging with a mighty river they transform isolated aspects into one ocean of consciousness. I could have responded to the title question in a few simple words.
However, without the preceding commentary would I even have been able to reach a point of clarity, where the question could be birthed, let alone answered?

I realise life is a journey, a process, and through contemplation and review of this process the light of truth shines through the darkness of separation; disparate parts come together, the Self is complete, and the world is a better place as a result.

Through space and time have I travelled to see past and future merge into this present moment, where absolute clarity of mind is the all-embracing wisdom of my heart; the notion of ‘other’ being simply thought to transform. I see how many parts compose the labyrinth that is my small self, how isolate they are in their multiplicity, and how, within a single moment of awareness, they may dissolve into one great river of joyous simplicity; the Self.

Cultivating awareness of this ‘Self’ enables soul purpose to be made visible and when I surrender, when I step aside, all barriers dissolve. In the stillness of each moment it flows, as a steady stream, to enrich the content of my days with reverent appreciation.

As threads of light weave their way through the tapestry that is my life an image slowly begins to take form. Shimmering in vibrant, diamond clear light, against the background of my days. It is the totality of all my experiences: meetings and partings, sorrow and joy, happiness and despair, fear and love. All I have ever known in countless existences since beginning of time. It carries the heartbeat of the universe, one glorious note that echoes the entirety of existence; the vibration of absolute perfection… Om… Om… Om…

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Into the Void - from Chaos to Clarity: pt5 Synthesis

Visions of Reality
In order to bring this article to its inevitable conclusion a way must be created whereby the disparate threads above may come together as one crowning truth. The connection between Daath and Divine Darkness has already been established (see part 4) along with identification of common themes: chaos, death, disease, dark and light, alienation etc. but what of links between Daath and group initiation? What do Daath and Divine Darkness have to do with group consciousness and soul initiation?

Surely when the concept of ‘groups’ and ‘souls’ are introduced it conjures up yet more identities, albeit on a far larger scale, in terms of conscious awareness. This would certainly be true when viewed from superficial perspectives taking the literal meanings of each contrasting ‘thread’. However if we look beneath the surface to the essence, the underlying energy, flowing through each of these forces we find a glorious dance of synchronicity and union that cannot fail to be an outpouring and ultimate expression of Divine Will.

Daath is Divine Darkness; a profound space where dynamic stillness is charged with infinite potential, where all forms and identities are broken apart to be reformed in accordance with Divine Will. The womb of creation, holding and embracing everything whilst in essence being no thing; it is without doubt the most creative force in the entire universe. Its intimate connection with Divine Will cannot be disputed; the book of Genesis clearly describes the part played by both ‘void’ and ‘darkness’ in creation of heaven and earth:

“And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.” Genesis 1-2

The next verse continues with the outpouring of light as an expression of the Will of God, also alluding to the association of sound, the voice and the throat chakra as playing essential parts in the unfolding of this Divine Plan for creation:

“And God said, Let there be light; and there was light”
Genesis 1-3

Visions of Reality
'Family of Light'
In the light of this understanding we may turn our attention once more to the collective consciousness of the ‘clay army’ and find their whole demeanour to be in accord with the breakdown of personal identity as associated with the sphere of Daath. Still, in essence, they wait patiently for the outcome of events, timescale being unimportant, for they know transformation from darkness to light is inevitable. Their awareness is one of group consciousness; they know this sequence of events will be perpetuated over and over again as part of a continuous process of destruction and renewal. Attachment to any form, even to that of the group, is futile as its future transmutation is inevitable.

We have only to observe the cycles within our own world to find natural order in decay and renewal; changing of seasons, ebb and flow of tides, night and day, life and death, each one of these bears testament to the powerful creative forces at play even at this physical level of reality. The evolution of consciousness, through personality, soul and beyond, is no less subject to natural order than is our physical world.

Soul integration, group initiation, every plane of existence from the smallest atom to the highest vibrations of light are subject to this same universal order of divine purpose; there are no exceptions. This is the glorious dance of synchronised ubiquity linking every disparate thread within this article. Alignment with this cosmic ordering, through the service of surrender, enables the individual to evolve into ever more refined vibrations of light, the ultimate reward being complete dissolution of  self into One Limitless Light.

The End
Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011

Thursday, 4 August 2011

To Fix, or Not to Fix? that is the Question...

... or is it? perhaps the question posed is, in fact, an answer?

It is often said that Truth is a paradox. The more diverse the apparent opposites, the closer we are to realising the ultimate nature of reality. If this is the case then maybe the posed question is indeed, an answer; the underlying 'truth' only being realised through exploring other sources of enquiry. I will, therefore, throw two more questions into the arena:

Alchemical alignment with 'Serenity'

 Question 1: How would it be if one single cell in your body thought it knew what was best for you? It then sets out to put right all it believes to be wrong, out of balance, or 'sick' within you. What effect does it have on your body as a whole?

Question 2: How would it be if one of the cells in your body knew the purpose of its existence, its function in maintaining the equilibrium of the whole, and worked in accord with that purpose? It is so happy in fulfilling its role that it radiates love and joy to all the surrounding cells. How does it feel?

We live in fairly tumultuous times where natural disasters, climate change, and horrendous acts of violence perpetuated against innocents,  fill our news screens on an almost daily basis. On the flip side, there are stories in abundance of the indomitable strength  of the human spirit, where despite atrocities and disasters, individuals and races shine through as a unified force in rebuilding all that was lost or destroyed. It seems, as fast as death and destruction are meted out with one hand, peace and unity are deployed by the other; such is the dichotomy of life in the twenty first century.

Embodying essence of 'Surprise'

However, does this bear relevance with respect to answering any of the questions posed above?

Are we as individuals, or as a race, responsible for the causation and retribution of these worldly happenings? or do we simply bear witness to the natural unfolding of creation where death and destruction are essential parts of life?

Is mother nature simply trying to balance herself as part of her own conscious evolution?

Perhaps the answer lies in accepting there may be grains of truth hidden within all these potentialities. If we accept that as individuals we are merely 'cells' within a vast cosmic entity, through which we live and move and have our being, then how can we possibly know what is best for the 'whole?' Even the wisest amongst us only hold within their awareness a fraction of the full picture.

Does it then behold us to attempt to 'fix' that which we believe to be 'sick' or 'not right' in our world?

Embodying essence of 'Growth'

An obvious answer would be that it does not. However, what if we also accept that as well as being cells within a great cosmic being, we are also that being?

Would it then give us the right to 'fix?' or would we KNOW that all is absolutely perfect just as it is, and there really is nothing to fix, heal or balance at all?

Does knowing this then abdicate us of all responsibility in taking action to sustain a healthy environment for ourselves and our world? If everything is perfect 'just as it is' then surely there is nothing for us to do, it is all part of the grand plan, and things will unfold 'just as they are meant to', with or without us 'doing' anything.

If only it was that simple! So how may we serve our fellow man, whilst being responsible stewards of our planet, without trying to fix anything according to our own belief systems?

If we reflect upon the characters of the two cells mentioned in Q1 and Q2, the mind-set they employ, and their resultant effect on the whole it is easy to see how we, as individuals, may assist or hinder our world in its evolutionary process of change. In other words, as we think so we are. We may 'do' all we can on this physical plane to aid, to 'fix', to heal that which we believe to be 'sick', but if we do not address the disharmony with our own being how can we possibly truly assist or heal anyone or anything else?

Nature's greatest gift is acceptance. It does not fix, it does not heal or attempt to change anything, it simply brings into balance that which is. In recognising that man, nature and cosmos are one and the same, in choosing to live our lives in accordance with this alignment, we serve each other and our world. The single cell in Q2, fulfils its purpose with light and joy in its heart, unconditionally giving others permission to do the same, thus creating a world where peace and harmony are foundations for life. This, it achieves through conscious awareness; it is at once the 'single cell' and the cosmic entity.

Quite simply it comes down to these well known maxims: 'man, Know Thyself', 'Physician, Heal Thyself'. When these directives are embodied, the Authentic Self is born, and the title question, 'to fix, or not to fix', really does become an answer.

Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Into the Void - from Chaos to Clarity: pt4

These understandings have arisen through meditation and contemplation of the foregoing articles (Into the Void pts 1-3). Several aspects share common ground within each of these disparate ‘threads’: chaos, fear, death, destruction, and alienation on the one hand with contrasting themes: diamond clear radiant light, the All-seeing, All knowing ‘Eye’ etc, being at the opposing end of the spectrum. An integrating presence uniting these diverse forces lies with the witnessing consciousness evident throughout.

Stillness Speaks
'City of Light'
Aligned with 'Group Consciousness'

Group Consciousness
Understanding the meaning of a 'soul infused personality' becomes apparent when viewed from a higher perspective.

The soul has many personalities through which it may grow and evolve and I am but one. It is not my soul; I am a fragment of it.

The army of clay marionettes (see pt3) are all fragments of one soul arriving at a point of unity within their evolution. Through this amalgamation the one soul may be invited to a higher plane of consciousness; this is group initiation.

Many souls exist upon the plane of souls forming brotherhoods of even more highly evolved souls. They in turn form even larger, more expansive, refined vibrations of conscious awareness. Even the monads are many. Aspects of all these levels are accessible through the soul infused personality.

I realise the minute part I play in the grand universal plan, how I am but a fragment of one soul, and that one soul but a fragment of an even larger brotherhood of souls. I am but a single celled organism within a vast being of infinite omniscience. And yet I also see the essential part I play in the evolution of that divine plan, for am I not also this vast being? In being willing to surrender, to face death in many forms, I, as an expression of the soul, facilitate the order of group initiation.

In terms of outward pursuits; teaching, healing, working etc. in many ways it doesn’t really matter what I as a personality ‘do’ on this earth. The act of surrender perpetuated daily, moment by moment, is service in itself. It is a service that doesn’t attract any outward recognition, further enhancing the light of the soul, whilst at the same time diminishing ego reward.

In a like manner the essence of true healing and teaching are actuated. An outpouring of the One Light places the entirety of existence in a continuous arrangement of receiving. The teacher/healer in surrendering, in removing personality desires and agendas to teach, to impart, to heal, to fix, becomes a clear channel through which the light of the Divine may flow. Receptivity on the part of the student/patient enables this light to flow from one channel to the other. The only part in the process played by the personality is that of surrender; it does not teach, it does not heal, it simply gets out of the way.

‘Daath’ and Divine Darkness
Daath is a gateway. It is a space, a Great Void, which holds within it the entirety of existence. In the kabbalistic Tree of Life it is the sphere of higher knowledge, of inner knowing, where nothing is taught yet everything is known. It is without definitive paths leading to the remaining ten spheres and yet is in intimate relationship with all, including that of the highest sphere, the Divine Light of Emanation. The ways of this mysterious sphere are hidden and become visible only with the light of clear seeing. As such it may emerge, quite spontaneously, through exploration of any sphere.

Visions of Reality
'Blank Canvas'

Associated with the throat in the eastern chakra system and the Vesica Piscis (see below) in sacred geometry, it is clearly a pathway to communion, as well as an instigator of creativity; the supreme expression of which is the creation of life itself in its many and varied forms.

Daath is a doorway to anywhere and anything but in order to partake of the rich nectar held at its core the personality must take a giant leap into the great unknown. It must surrender every idea, every notion, and every belief of which it perceives itself to be, and embrace the darkness of its own nature; the antithesis of all that is safe and all that is known. This is the chaos, destruction and death experienced during dream state in the foregoing accounts.

Vesica Piscis
However this darkness, as already mentioned, is the most trusted and safest place any personality could hope to encounter, where surrender is the most natural, and indeed only, response to its benevolent presence. It is a space ‘where I may disappear and not even know I had gone’. Its true nature is divine; Divine Darkness.

Holding everything yet being nothing, it is a space of infinite stillness, infinite patience, infinite possibilities, infinite darkness that is absolute perfection. Yet this space is only arrived at through apparent chaos, destruction and death from the perspective of the ego self. There has to be an absolute let go where there is no ego, no self not even a ‘higher self’ or soul. There is nothing, absolutely nothing related to identity in any form.

And in absolute nothingness Truth may be actualised. In unconditionally embracing the dark, in allowing its mystic essence to enfold, absorb and permeate every aspect of being, the dark is transformed.

As the self gives in to its embrace, dissolving completely, it becomes the very essence of dark, and with this immersion the light spontaneously arises from within. The infinite light of Daath can only be realised through total embracing of its dark. In supreme absorption, in consummate blackness, the light emerges triumphant.

Divine darkness is a receptive state. There is nothing to fix and nothing to impart. All is absolute perfection and all is known; all is dark and all is light. But the key lies in total surrender.

Chaos, death, destruction and disease all must be embraced, with the highest reward being absolute no-thingness from which anything is possible. In letting go and embracing all, moment by moment, there is nothing for the personality to ‘do’ but to embrace, appreciate and welcome life. Simply receive. And in this receiving there is so much it is able to give... 

to be continued...
Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Death - the final curtain? Celebrating nature's gift in the heart of life...

Part Two - Nature's Gift
In order to awaken to the remarkable gift bestowed at Jasper's passing, I must rewind the clock some five months to a time when I first believed he was ready to exit this world. The familiar tightening around my heart, sickness in the solar plexus, for a dozen or so years forgotten, returned with alarming intensity. As fast as my heart softened as I held him, it would close in fear when I contemplated his loss.

Then in the early hours of one spring morning I awoke to the words 'cosmic midwifery'. It was a turning point in my life, and his. 'Cosmic midwifery' is a term I became familiar with through the work of Lyssa Royal Holt and relates to 'Arcturan' consciousness; a group consciousness that facilitates ease of transition from one way of being to another, as in birth/death or vice versa. Arcturus is also a consciousness I have particular resonance with.

These two simple words had the effect of shifting me from one way of being to another. Instead of seeing his depleted physical form I energised his light, the part of him that never dies. Within two days he was back to his normal self, and I was a completely different person. What a privilege it was to be able to see and feel his light, his soul, whilst he was still incarnate within physical form; it was pure joy to embrace, evolving into a way of life I carry forward to this day.

Normal life continued for a few months, so normal in fact that his voice returned to full fettle. At times this would drive me nuts, as whenever he was awake he would 'squawk' at me - incessantly! Then one day he stopped. He became quiet and withdrawn, barely eating or drinking. What I wouldn't have given to hear his voice once again.

Following a visit to the vets, where he was given fluids for two days, his (almost) normal self returned - as well as his squeak. I have never felt so grateful for anything, it seems, in my life. And so his last few days on planet earth really were very special. All of us lived and appreciated each moment we shared as if it were our last.

As his physical form became weaker and weaker the light of his soul grew stronger. It was a tangible presence, one I could feel to such depth it became more real than the body I nurtured within my arms. He felt it too. He purred quietly, deeply, his breath so slow it barely disturbed the surrounding air.

On the morning of his passing, together with Jonty, we sat in meditation. I chanted quietly the sacred mantra of the great Buddha of Compassion, Om Mani Padme Hum, tears streaming down my face. We breathed and purred as one, the tears evoking such depth and expansion within my heart, they seemed to contain all meetings and partings throughout time. It ceased to be about me and him. All was light, all was love; no meetings, no partings, just All.

I held his head gently, chanting softly in his ear, as his body slowly slipped away. He went straight into the light, a simple merging with the presence that had been the guiding star within our lives for what seemed like an eternity. There were no tears, just light; endless light.

After he'd gone I sat within the presence, absorbing its light. I cried, I smiled, I loved. It is two weeks since he left and, even now, I feel his heart to heart hug tangibly around, and within my body, far more than when he had been alive. It instils profound peace, quiet inner joy and stillness. There is no loss, for how can I loose that which I am?

Jasper was a 'healing' cat. Throughout his life he held the energy for us all in his own unique and intuitive way; his divine presence being made evident during the months prior to his death. I know the greatest gift I bestowed upon him was to acknowledge this; to know his true self. It returns a thousand fold to grace each moment of my days with profound appreciation.

Realising the Gift
All of this would be reward enough in itself, however the gift of Jasper's passing extends way beyond the individuals within this story. It awakens understanding of the great gift nature herself bestows.

Endless Light
As I reflect upon my life, the animals who have shared it, and the timeliness of their presence, I see a pattern of cosmic ordering emerging.

Until Buster, all my animals were less than four years old when they died. Ben, a beautiful persian, whom I loved with all my heart, was run over 2 mths after I lost my mother. I was heart broken and shed more tears for him than I did for her, even though we were extremely close. I believe this was why he sacrificed his life - that I might truly grieve, for her.

Buster marked a turning point in my life, was my first dog, and arrived immediately in the wake of loosing Ben. He was the largest in the litter and the first to be chosen, only they never showed up. It was clear he had been 'waiting' for me - he was four months old when we met. Buster opened new doorways, became my best friend, and in time helped to heal the wounds of loss forged so deep within my being. Four years later two little kittens arrived...

And so we come full circle. We reach the point where all that was lost is found, where all that was separate is whole and where the magic of nature's gift weaves its way into all that is human existence.

Throughout life there are many births and an equal number of deaths yet we only seem to take note of two: birth into physical form and its subsequent demise. At what point did I die as a teenager and become an adult? When did Jasper cease to be a catcher of mice? or Buster a playful puppy? At what point in time - precisely - did these events occur?

Just like watching a movie, they all merge into one continuous stream of consciousness that is the entirety of one life, with only the beginning and end being apparently definable. Jasper's legacy has enabled me to experience all beings mentioned within this article as momentary expressions of an even greater life. They lived and loved, and died until at last resoundingTruth is recognised. No birth, no death - only life; One life.

'Celebrating nature's gift in the heart of life' lies in, quite simply, 'being' that greater life. And when you are, there really is nothing else to do... other than celebrate...

And so... life goes on...
Do I miss him?... yes I do.... it's all part of the richness of life, well lived....

Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Death - the final curtain? Celebrating nature's gift in the heart of life...

Part One - Celebration of life well lived
There is a well known story which begins with the words: 'what can you say about a twenty-five year old girl who died?...' Eric Segal. This story begins in a like fashion with only the subject matter being somewhat different - 'what can you say about an eighteen year old feline friend who died?'

Some might say that at 18+, roughly 91 human years, death was inevitable and he had had a very good innings. However life (and death) really isn't quite that simple, for whenever the 'final curtain' is drawn, whatever the circumstances, the sense of loss is still the same; devastating, irreconcilable.  Throughout my life death has made its presence felt on a number of occasions. You would think over time the suffering incurred would reduce in its intensity but this has not, up to now, been my experience. Jasper's passing, however, has been somewhat different.

Jasper - 8wks
He entered my life when he was just six weeks old after I made the grave mistake of going to see a friends newly born kittens (I didn't have any intention of increasing my furry family at the time).

He was the largest in the litter and always rushed to greet me when I arrived; a right little character from the outset. It took me a while to notice, as Jasper inevitably commanded my attention, but another little kitten showed equal enthusiasm with each visit; an unobtrusive female whom I subsequently christened 'Jess'. 

Two furry beings had found their way into my heart and my life. How this would pan out I'd no idea as I shared my home with one other furry being; Buster, a four year old collie/lab cross, who I hadn't even consulted about the latest additions!

Jess - 8wks
The kittens were so tiny their combined size amounted to less than Buster's head. I just had to trust all would be well, so I set the kittens on the kitchen floor, ignored them, and made a fuss of the dog. After a while he went for a sniff only to be spat at by Jess. In true dog fashion he ran straight to his bed, gave me a questioning look, and clearly wondered what on earth he'd done to deserve such a welcome.

After that they became firm friends with Jasper soon to take on the role as head of the house, including the provision of our 'daily bread'. There followed 12 happy years (until Buster died) where we all rattled along quite nicely, with all three of my furry friends offering quite unique and complementary gifts.

Buster - 14yrs

Buster (that's another story) was my trusted friend, companion and fellow traveller who accompanied me virtually every place I went. He needed plenty of exercise so weekends were spent climbing mountains in the English Lake District - his first and last being Blencathra (my favorite) just outside Keswick. Now his ashes dance with the elements and his soul runs free amongst the fells.

Jasper and Jess were as different as chalk and cheese. Where he was confident, expressive and very true to his feline nature; she was quiet, gentle and fond of her own company. In all her 18 years I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of creatures she has sent to their maker; with Jasper it was a five times daily occurrence!

Heart to heart hugs

Should he have had a tombstone, Jasper's epitaph would include these few simple words, 'He lived life to the full'. Everything he did, he undertook with his whole being; he could purr for England, held meaningful conversations, was totally fearless, fought and caught, played me off to a tee and best of all he gave the most loving heart to heart hugs. He would deliberately go outside when it was chucking it down with rain just so he could be towel dried in my arms when he returned; the look on his face was pure bliss and his inner engine vibrated to such depth, its a wonder the whole world didn't still to listen - maybe it did?

Jonty - 10wks
Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth!
18 months after Buster died, a beam of radiant joy entered our lives in the form of a cavalier king charles spaniel - Jonty Sunbeam Spirit - Walker ('Spirit-Walker' was the name of the kennels). He is now four years old and I could already fill a book with his antics! However, I will stick to Jasper, and suffice it to say they became bosom buddies; a right double act, I can tell you. They were even colour co-ordinated - a purrfect match!

Bosom Buddies

Jonty made it his mission to chase both cats who soon developed their own way of dealing with the mini tornado that had invaded their otherwise tranquil lives; Jess would retreat immediately to the top of the kitchen units and join in from a strategically safe position, Jasper would quite simply whack him into place with a very well placed paw - not that it ever deterred Jonty, to him it was all part of the fun. I think Jasper saw it like that too, he was completely non-phased by all of it.

Feeding time was always interesting as Jonty considered anything placed on the floor to be his, quite rightly so! thus cat food was placed on the kitchen worktop well out of reach. Or so I thought? Many a time I would enter the kitchen in the morning to find a spotlessly clean cat bowl lying on the floor. This puzzled me for a while, until I spotted Jasper generously sharing his dinner by knocking the bowl into the reach of a very grateful little dog! Sharing of food as you can see from the video below, was well reciprocated, not only did Jonty allow Jasper to steal his food, he wagged his tail in appreciation!

Feeding time
And so we come to the parting of the ways and the reason for writing this blog. Why has the demise of this very special friend been so different that it has inspired me to share his story a mere three days after his passing?

to be continued...
Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011

Monday, 18 July 2011

Into the Void - from Chaos to Clarity: pt3

Group Initiation
During an esoteric astrology reading it was suggested I meditate upon the position of Jupiter in my progressed chart. I held this as a symbol in the centre of my third eye before I went to sleep, visualising the symbols as brilliant white light.

I had a dream and it was one of chaos. It wasn’t pleasant at all although I didn’t file it under the category of nightmare. Following in a similar vein to the dream in part 1, it also involved a life threatening virus this one being quite alien; very slug like about 3” long, light in colour, kind of shiny but not slimy, emitting an unfamiliar but somehow attractive glow that stimulated curiosity in its potential victims. Parasitic in nature it entered the host through direct physical contact and remained until the carrier was annihilated. Two people fell as victims to the assault resulting in dramatically altered behavioural patterns prior to their rapid and untimely deaths. I was a physical body in the dream, had identity and played my part within it, but I was also witnessing consciousness. A beach scene in a foreign land came into it at some point towards the end. I didn’t think the virus was connected with it but I was still left with a sense of chaos and destruction.

I woke quite naturally and lie dozing for a while neither awake nor asleep. I brought into mind the symbol, held it there, and then let it go. Before long an image appeared so vivid I see it clearly, even now.

Stillness Speaks
Aligned with 'Inclusiveness'
The landscape was somewhat alien in appearance, quite dark and barren. I had a sense it lay at the very edge of the universe. Upon the land and stretching almost as far as the eye could see was an army of figures. They were human beings but the term ‘figures’ is a far more apt description for they held no distinguishing features, they were of uniform height and form, grey in colour with not a shred of clothing worn between them.

A throng of clay marionettes, benign ‘cyber men’, benevolent ‘borg’ each and every one standing as one being awaiting the natural outcome of events that had been bearing fruit since the beginning of time. And filling the entire panorama, casting shafts of radiant light upon the expectant faces of those at the centre of the entourage, sat a joyous, vibrant and incandescent spiritual sun, glowing in resplendent glory of divine emanation.

There was an air of patient anticipation, surrender, acceptance where not a sound was heard, where not a single outpouring of breath disturbed the air, where not even a stray thought could distort the quiet inevitability of this profound and momentous occasion. This was an invitation, an initiation. A group soul, comprising the consciousnesses of many individuals united in purpose, had arrived at a consummate stage in evolution where they may move forward, as a group, in divine service. From this point forward individual motivation would be expressed only so far as it served the purpose of the group as an outpouring of Divine Will.

Although my physical body was amongst those who stood and faced the light, there was no individual consciousness not even witnessing consciousness. My body was there but I did not know which one of the figures was my body, it really didn’t matter. The predominating awareness was that of the group, the soul; there was no individual ‘me’, in any form, within it. And I sensed within the shadows around the central illuminated group hundreds more waiting, as if the first group initiation facilitated the enabling of more and more groups to be embraced in a similar manner; like a domino effect where once the process had begun it was impossible to stop.

The group was not a group in this physical dimension. Even though physical bodies were evident I felt individual consciousnesses had come together from all over the planet (and beyond). I feel initiation on the subtle planes enables recognition to manifest in this realm where group members know each other on some level and automatically act in accord with group purpose as a fulfilment of the divine plan. Group consciousness and the work in this realm will become more apparent whether these souls meet in physical form or not.

The unfolding of the divine plan ripens in the life of the individual as awareness of group consciousness becomes more apparent in each responsible enactment of divine purpose. The primary task of each individual being to honour the consciousness of the group, the whole, regardless of the task they are undertaking in this physical reality.

to be continued...
Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011