Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Death - the final curtain? Celebrating nature's gift in the heart of life...

Part Two - Nature's Gift
In order to awaken to the remarkable gift bestowed at Jasper's passing, I must rewind the clock some five months to a time when I first believed he was ready to exit this world. The familiar tightening around my heart, sickness in the solar plexus, for a dozen or so years forgotten, returned with alarming intensity. As fast as my heart softened as I held him, it would close in fear when I contemplated his loss.

Then in the early hours of one spring morning I awoke to the words 'cosmic midwifery'. It was a turning point in my life, and his. 'Cosmic midwifery' is a term I became familiar with through the work of Lyssa Royal Holt and relates to 'Arcturan' consciousness; a group consciousness that facilitates ease of transition from one way of being to another, as in birth/death or vice versa. Arcturus is also a consciousness I have particular resonance with.

These two simple words had the effect of shifting me from one way of being to another. Instead of seeing his depleted physical form I energised his light, the part of him that never dies. Within two days he was back to his normal self, and I was a completely different person. What a privilege it was to be able to see and feel his light, his soul, whilst he was still incarnate within physical form; it was pure joy to embrace, evolving into a way of life I carry forward to this day.

Normal life continued for a few months, so normal in fact that his voice returned to full fettle. At times this would drive me nuts, as whenever he was awake he would 'squawk' at me - incessantly! Then one day he stopped. He became quiet and withdrawn, barely eating or drinking. What I wouldn't have given to hear his voice once again.

Following a visit to the vets, where he was given fluids for two days, his (almost) normal self returned - as well as his squeak. I have never felt so grateful for anything, it seems, in my life. And so his last few days on planet earth really were very special. All of us lived and appreciated each moment we shared as if it were our last.

As his physical form became weaker and weaker the light of his soul grew stronger. It was a tangible presence, one I could feel to such depth it became more real than the body I nurtured within my arms. He felt it too. He purred quietly, deeply, his breath so slow it barely disturbed the surrounding air.

On the morning of his passing, together with Jonty, we sat in meditation. I chanted quietly the sacred mantra of the great Buddha of Compassion, Om Mani Padme Hum, tears streaming down my face. We breathed and purred as one, the tears evoking such depth and expansion within my heart, they seemed to contain all meetings and partings throughout time. It ceased to be about me and him. All was light, all was love; no meetings, no partings, just All.

I held his head gently, chanting softly in his ear, as his body slowly slipped away. He went straight into the light, a simple merging with the presence that had been the guiding star within our lives for what seemed like an eternity. There were no tears, just light; endless light.

After he'd gone I sat within the presence, absorbing its light. I cried, I smiled, I loved. It is two weeks since he left and, even now, I feel his heart to heart hug tangibly around, and within my body, far more than when he had been alive. It instils profound peace, quiet inner joy and stillness. There is no loss, for how can I loose that which I am?

Jasper was a 'healing' cat. Throughout his life he held the energy for us all in his own unique and intuitive way; his divine presence being made evident during the months prior to his death. I know the greatest gift I bestowed upon him was to acknowledge this; to know his true self. It returns a thousand fold to grace each moment of my days with profound appreciation.

Realising the Gift
All of this would be reward enough in itself, however the gift of Jasper's passing extends way beyond the individuals within this story. It awakens understanding of the great gift nature herself bestows.

Endless Light
As I reflect upon my life, the animals who have shared it, and the timeliness of their presence, I see a pattern of cosmic ordering emerging.

Until Buster, all my animals were less than four years old when they died. Ben, a beautiful persian, whom I loved with all my heart, was run over 2 mths after I lost my mother. I was heart broken and shed more tears for him than I did for her, even though we were extremely close. I believe this was why he sacrificed his life - that I might truly grieve, for her.

Buster marked a turning point in my life, was my first dog, and arrived immediately in the wake of loosing Ben. He was the largest in the litter and the first to be chosen, only they never showed up. It was clear he had been 'waiting' for me - he was four months old when we met. Buster opened new doorways, became my best friend, and in time helped to heal the wounds of loss forged so deep within my being. Four years later two little kittens arrived...

And so we come full circle. We reach the point where all that was lost is found, where all that was separate is whole and where the magic of nature's gift weaves its way into all that is human existence.

Throughout life there are many births and an equal number of deaths yet we only seem to take note of two: birth into physical form and its subsequent demise. At what point did I die as a teenager and become an adult? When did Jasper cease to be a catcher of mice? or Buster a playful puppy? At what point in time - precisely - did these events occur?

Just like watching a movie, they all merge into one continuous stream of consciousness that is the entirety of one life, with only the beginning and end being apparently definable. Jasper's legacy has enabled me to experience all beings mentioned within this article as momentary expressions of an even greater life. They lived and loved, and died until at last resoundingTruth is recognised. No birth, no death - only life; One life.

'Celebrating nature's gift in the heart of life' lies in, quite simply, 'being' that greater life. And when you are, there really is nothing else to do... other than celebrate...

And so... life goes on...
Do I miss him?... yes I do.... it's all part of the richness of life, well lived....

Copyright ©Barbara Rose 2011

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